Feeling Old and Feeling Young
I am not a huge birthday celebrator, but since I will probably only celebrate my birthday in Bali once, I figured I would do something memorable. I headed back to Ubud this morning on the back of a motorbike. I wanted to see the Water Palace on the way, and my driver said he would stop for me.
There was hardly anyone there. It was quiet and peaceful. I took my time wandering through before hopping back on the bike.
We made it to Ubud in two hours. My friend, Jean-Mario, is working at a resort outside of town and said I could stay there for the night. The bike putted up and down the winding hills on the way to the resort. I was greeted by a friendly staff and shown to the dining room. I enjoyed a wonderful lunch with Jean-Mario before being shown to my villa. I feel very spoiled and blessed to get to stay here! I have a huge bed, a patio, a pool, and hot water!!
I spent the afternoon swimming, writing, relaxing, and catching up with Jean- Mario before heading into town.
There is a place called Yoga Barn that has an Ecstatic Dance class every Friday night. This is something I definitely wanted to experience. You know me and my dancing!! It took longer than I planned to get there, and I ran down the path to make sure I made it to class. I heard music thumping. I kicked off my shoes and danced my way to the middle of the floor. The DJ is a yoga instructor who plays music with good vibes. Everyone was in comfortable clothing whether it be yoga pants or a flowing skirt. The lights were dim and several people had their eyes closed. There was no judgment, just dancing. The freedom to move, stretch, jump, crawl, spin about, and express yourself (not talking about Diplo-style) however you feel. I danced like a weirdo and loved every minute of the 90-minute class. We ended holding sweaty hands in a big circle and clapping for the good night.
I walked around town for a little bit before grabbing a motorbike to the hotel to catch some z’s. On the way back, my driver asked if I wanted to learn how to drive. This was the cherry on my cake!!!! I tried driving once five years ago and wrecked it within 16 seconds. I really wanted to learn properly. He pulled over. I hopped in front and drove like a pro! What a perfect end to my birthday. What a beautiful day and a beautiful start to the next year of my life!!
I can’t believe I’m 27. Although I have a terrible memory, it feels like I was in high school a couple years ago, yet next year will be my ten year reunion.
When I talk to others my age, I think of how young they are. They have their whole lives ahead of them, but somehow I feel different. For someone my age, the social norm would be to have my career figured out, be married or close to it, and starting a family. Society puts a weighed pressure on young people to “figure it out.” Some days I do feel old and that my clock is ticking to have a family and be settled. This is not the sort of pressure I want for myself or anyone I potentially date. Plus, I don’t believe in settling anyways. I believe in living and growing!
Although I am not where I thought I would be ten years ago, I am where I am supposed to be. I didn’t picture myself single, but I also didn’t picture myself visiting over 20 countries. I thought I would have a career, but instead I have been blessed with jobs that have allowed me to travel, give, connect, and make lasting relationships.
I have witnessed a life being brought into this world, and a life leaving. I have loved, and I have lost. I have been lost, and I have been found. I have traveled the world alone, yet been surrounded by thousands of beautiful people.
I feel old when I think of where I should be and all this life has taught me so far. I feel young when I think of where I am and all I have experienced and the journey that lies ahead. I know it is just beginning.