Halfway There! Weeks 19 - 22

Thank you for continuing this pregnancy journey with me. This month of pregnancy has been the most difficult for me. There is a lot going on in the world that is out of control. There is a lot going on with and in my body that is out of my control. I can control my response to change. This month was all about working on how I respond to what’s going on in and outside of me. I will rejoice.

Week 19

This week I was greeted by two old friends, heartburn and acid reflux. My acid reflux causes these giant outbursts that sound like an obnoxious hiccup combined with a burp. It happens several times a day and Vito shakes his head every single time. I have trouble staying hydrated, but the more water I drink, the worse my reflux is.

Since my appointment got canceled last week, I was able to get in this week. I was feeling super anxious to hear the baby’s heartbeat again. I was feeling little movement and wanted the reassurance. This was my first appointment without Vito. The office isn’t allowing anyone except the patient to come in due to COVID-19. I recorded the heartbeat to send to the family. It was in the 130’s!!

This week my craving for sushi was so strong, I bought some roasted seaweed at Trader Joe’s hoping to curb my desire for sushi. I made some maki bites and it totally helped! I ate all of them and made more the next day. I used this bang bang sauce recipe on top.

Maki bites:

lay seaweed down (I cut the squares in half)

add a spoonful of rice on top

add matchstick cucumber and bell pepper

top with a small piece of avocado

drizzle with yum yum sauce

Week 20

Twenty weeks and we finally felt ready to share our news. It had been really fun keeping a secret that few knew. Now that my belly is impossible to hide, we thought it was time. We first shared on the Miraculous Mamas podcast and then made it public on social media. A part of me wished we still had this just to ourselves but it is nice getting advice and sharing with others.

Although I still forget that I am pregnant, I am starting to get uncomfortable. I can feel a giant hard ball in my belly. It feels like someone put a bowling ball inside of me. Despite getting larger, I haven’t had much of an appetite. All of the pregnancy apps say this is when I should be really hungry, but I have to constantly remind myself to eat. I try to focus on getting enough proteins and greens. Breakfast is the hardest for me. I am not that hungry in the morning and could wait hours before eating. Remember how I started drinking decaf? I had switched back to regular and it has become a part of my routine. I actually didn’t drink much coffee before becoming pregnant. There is something about mom life that makes us crave caffeine. I began to start my mornings with the following coffee recipe: 1 scoop collagen, 1 tsp ghee butter, 1 packet stevia, coffee. This way, I was at least getting some protein and fat in right away.

We had originally had our twenty week anatomy scan scheduled for this week, but the hospital was not allowing partners present due to COVID-19. I didn’t want to do this without Vito and cried my eyes out, canceled the appointment and began searching for other places. I could only find one that was outside a hospital and allowing partners. We would have to pay out-of-pocket for the ultrasound, but it was totally worth it to me.

We got to the appointment and were the only people in the building. It was very intimate and relaxed. As soon as we started, we were in awe looking at our baby. I can’t believe this is inside of me! Everything looked perfect and it was such a bonding experience. The ultrasound tech had us look away while she checked out the genital region. My curiosity took over and I tried to keep looking, but Vito wouldn’t let me. I am glad the sex is still a surprise and can’t wait to hold the baby in my arms. We left feeling reassured and the reality that we are having a baby began setting in more. We are going to be parents!!

Week 21

I got an order at my last appointment to begin pelvic floor therapy. For years a few drops of pee would sneak out every once in a while when I sneezed or jumped on a trampoline. The last few weeks it has been more frequent and more than a few drops. I hadn’t fully peed myself but I was scared. My work as a doula has taught me the importance of pelvic floor therapy. I believe every woman should work with a pelvic floor therapist at some point. I began my first virtual pelvic floor therapy session this week and was so excited to start. I learned all sort of exercises to strengthen my pelvic floo,r and I will keep you posted on whether or not it helps with me peeing a little.

I started to get antsy this week about the quarantine. It didn’t bother me at all at first. Now, I am craving human interaction. I don’t feel like I get to rejoice in my pregnancy with anyone. Vito, of course, celebrates with me and loves on me. I realized I am not a huge extrovert, but I really value one on one time with my loved ones. I LOVE grabbing coffee and catching up or meeting a girlfriend for lunch or a walk. I need community.

Week 22

My mental health took a hit this week. My mom was supposed to be here this week.  I don’t know when I will get to see her.  I don’t want to be in quarantine anymore.  My body is changing so much but I still don’t feel like any of this is real. I want to be excited and rejoice. I believe that comes from community.  I don’t know how to do it on my own.  Is this real?

Friday morning, after two days of crying, I decided I needed to rejoice.  I spoke to the baby for maybe the third time, and it kicked.  I started feeling the biggest movements and kicks I have so far, as if the baby was reminding me of their love.  I told the baby “I love you baby” for the first time… I can’t believe I haven’t said those words out loud yet. I love my baby. Pregnancy is weird. I am past the halfway mark and each day I get closer to meeting my baby. I feel so ready for the birth already. I have seen so many and studied it completely. I don’t think I was ready for pregnancy. There are so many changes mentally, physically, and emotionally. It takes a village even in pregnancy, and I am really missing mine.

Click here to read weeks 14- 18!